Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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