ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize