I swear she didn't look like that last week.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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