yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
