Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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