you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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