Your face is a jimmy john
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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