i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
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