My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
