ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
