Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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