I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
