Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
