Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
