i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Randomize
