I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Dick very happy bro
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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