my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
