i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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