also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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