His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
