we're chasing vodka with high fives
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
