Tell her she can't have a vagina
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
