Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
only you would photoshop your dick
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
