saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
i drank out of a bidet.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
