wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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