You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
