we're blogging at a bar
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
you never un-have a 4some
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
