I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I am naked and annoyed.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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