I am midnight drunk by noon
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
