Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(915): View more from Texas

After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(915): After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't. http://tfl.nu/4b73

Replies (19) Good night (646) Bad night (2820)
Favorite
(614): View more from Ohio

if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?

(1-614): View more from Ohio

i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(614): if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle? (1-614): i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you. http://tfl.nu/6cnp

Replies (34) Good night (579) Bad night (3869)
Favorite
(661): View more from California

I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(661): I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is. http://tfl.nu/de6o

Replies (11) Good night (5568) Bad night (1087)
Favorite
(410): View more from Maryland

There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(410): There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to. http://tfl.nu/sxdr

Replies (17) Good night (1281) Bad night (5732)
Favorite
(937): View more from Ohio

I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(937): I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad. http://tfl.nu/m8mw

Replies (13) Good night (5325) Bad night (853)
Favorite
(415): View more from California

You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(415): You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me... http://tfl.nu/rukw

Replies (2) Good night (2086) Bad night (1014)
Favorite
(753): View more from

He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(753): He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means. http://tfl.nu/ooa4

Replies (4) Good night (1763) Bad night (793)
Favorite
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+44): he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window http://tfl.nu/rkda

Replies (10) Good night (3046) Bad night (1373)
Favorite
(508): View more from Massachusetts

That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(508): That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out http://tfl.nu/67gz

Replies (3) Good night (3304) Bad night (939)
Favorite
(312): View more from Illinois

I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.

(224): View more from Illinois

Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(312): I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks. (224): Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however. http://tfl.nu/lo15

Replies (8) Good night (2089) Bad night (669)
Favorite
(956): View more from Texas

You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(956): You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom http://tfl.nu/ktvk

Replies (2) Good night (306) Bad night (704)
Favorite
(520): View more from Arizona

Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(520): Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are. http://tfl.nu/sjk3

Replies (5) Good night (972) Bad night (360)
Favorite
(404): View more from Georgia

I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(404): I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry. http://tfl.nu/xlvi

Replies (1) Good night (626) Bad night (359)
Favorite
(913): View more from Kansas

I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(913): I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box? http://tfl.nu/v8k1

Replies (3) Good night (246) Bad night (519)
Favorite
(225): View more from Louisiana

I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(225): I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night http://tfl.nu/cijq

Replies (2) Good night (416) Bad night (278)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: