Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  You can't motorboat a personality

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  (602): You can't motorboat a personality http://tfl.nu/gveo
  Replies (18) Good night (1440) Bad night (2301)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck

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  (252): I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck http://tfl.nu/v85x
  Replies (15) Good night (2418) Bad night (702)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.

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  (609): he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea. http://tfl.nu/w4ku
  Replies (17) Good night (737) Bad night (6729)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.

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  (586): we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path. http://tfl.nu/fhzw
  Replies (17) Good night (1103) Bad night (5221)
• Favorite

  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.

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  (339): He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning. http://tfl.nu/40hx
  Replies (10) Good night (2323) Bad night (5578)
• Favorite

  (862): View more from New Jersey

  found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"

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  (862): found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later" http://tfl.nu/lryz
  Replies (19) Good night (10525) Bad night (1834)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs

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  (773): She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs http://tfl.nu/4ami
  Replies (26) Good night (6501) Bad night (1539)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree

  (404): View more from Georgia

  YES.

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  (678): NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree (404): YES. http://tfl.nu/chua
  Replies (5) Good night (3751) Bad night (931)
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  (530): View more from California

  Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'

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  (530): Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober' http://tfl.nu/1n5d
  Replies (3) Good night (2870) Bad night (1035)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.

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  (707): someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine. http://tfl.nu/envi
  Replies (26) Good night (2278) Bad night (1473)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.

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  (503): I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over. http://tfl.nu/8vsu
  Replies (5) Good night (1034) Bad night (2681)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.

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  (617): Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now. http://tfl.nu/mmi9
  Replies (1) Good night (1377) Bad night (609)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.

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  (416): Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights. http://tfl.nu/9jzc
  Replies (6) Good night (1199) Bad night (489)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah

  (772): View more from Florida

  I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.

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  (614): My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah (772): I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade. http://tfl.nu/tvrh
  Replies (2) Good night (742) Bad night (695)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  am i new drunk or am i still drunk

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  (561): am i new drunk or am i still drunk http://tfl.nu/zvnj
  Replies (3) Good night (772) Bad night (321)

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