Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.