Texts From Last Night

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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later

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  (715): We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later http://tfl.nu/4xtv
  Replies (11) Good night (5133) Bad night (1222)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.

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  (540): She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her. http://tfl.nu/1bms
  Replies (13) Good night (4916) Bad night (1519)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.

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  (256): FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation. http://tfl.nu/7b12
  Replies (28) Good night (1499) Bad night (7666)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  i would one night stand the shit outta him

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  (443): i would one night stand the shit outta him http://tfl.nu/aljg
  Replies (11) Good night (5708) Bad night (990)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011

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  (816): why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011 http://tfl.nu/szze
  Replies (9) Good night (2431) Bad night (1023)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night

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  (406): He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night http://tfl.nu/scut
  Replies (7) Good night (3765) Bad night (881)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.

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  (610): She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling. http://tfl.nu/koe0
  Replies (8) Good night (960) Bad night (2466)
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.

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  (985): He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period. http://tfl.nu/gmxu
  Replies (10) Good night (3168) Bad night (1395)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.

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  (812): Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do. (812): Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this. http://tfl.nu/m912
  Replies (10) Good night (1539) Bad night (671)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.

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  (910): I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand. http://tfl.nu/jlfn
  Replies (23) Good night (921) Bad night (3279)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having

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  (720): Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having http://tfl.nu/k4bc
  Replies (3) Good night (922) Bad night (587)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again

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  (410): holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again http://tfl.nu/wjyj
  Replies (8) Good night (1366) Bad night (503)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.

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  (812): I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest. http://tfl.nu/mbi2
  Replies (5) Good night (1228) Bad night (462)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming

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  (425): I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming http://tfl.nu/nsf8
  Replies (2) Good night (568) Bad night (298)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test

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  (614): Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test http://tfl.nu/jhnu
  Replies (0) Good night (599) Bad night (198)

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