i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?