Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God

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  (313): My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God http://tfl.nu/eo8x
  Replies (5) Good night (1099) Bad night (1395)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.

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  (214): did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date. http://tfl.nu/9ydt
  Replies (1) Good night (884) Bad night (958)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.

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  (503): Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck. http://tfl.nu/nubl
  Replies (11) Good night (732) Bad night (1442)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.

  (1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

  at least i was looking out for everybody

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  (403): You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone. (1-403): at least i was looking out for everybody http://tfl.nu/ilsz
  Replies (8) Good night (4648) Bad night (687)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.

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  (617): road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school. http://tfl.nu/xo9e
  Replies (36) Good night (1683) Bad night (4248)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.

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  (816): If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day. http://tfl.nu/k8ur
  Replies (16) Good night (9001) Bad night (1170)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.

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  (314): i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk. http://tfl.nu/227n
  Replies (11) Good night (4210) Bad night (948)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.

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  (603): did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless. http://tfl.nu/v4st
  Replies (9) Good night (6074) Bad night (1334)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.

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  (410): They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless. http://tfl.nu/y6il
  Replies (9) Good night (2784) Bad night (1228)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time

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  (843): you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time http://tfl.nu/xd6c
  Replies (7) Good night (2063) Bad night (657)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.

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  (859): Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling. http://tfl.nu/qu9z
  Replies (4) Good night (932) Bad night (1028)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.

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  (804): I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit. http://tfl.nu/xryz
  Replies (5) Good night (1534) Bad night (581)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.

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  (817): He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before. http://tfl.nu/79xu
  Replies (4) Good night (1046) Bad night (384)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!

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  (636): She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude! http://tfl.nu/l1oq
  Replies (5) Good night (874) Bad night (233)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.

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  (607): Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend. http://tfl.nu/8rh6
  Replies (3) Good night (242) Bad night (504)

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