Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times