Texts From Last Night

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  (817): View more from Texas

  i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.

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  (817): i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby. http://tfl.nu/i81q
  Replies (101) Good night (5850) Bad night (1800)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??

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  (317): There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas?? http://tfl.nu/74h0
  Replies (59) Good night (2151) Bad night (3374)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days

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  (847): I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days http://tfl.nu/mlev
  Replies (52) Good night (1150) Bad night (3851)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.

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  (740): Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level. http://tfl.nu/r4mw
  Replies (21) Good night (4504) Bad night (830)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.

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  (216): the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again. http://tfl.nu/jfz7
  Replies (6) Good night (878) Bad night (3621)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway

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  (410): We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway http://tfl.nu/kcow
  Replies (11) Good night (2692) Bad night (957)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.

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  (814): You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out. http://tfl.nu/306z
  Replies (6) Good night (2517) Bad night (1457)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.

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  (+44): Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect. http://tfl.nu/gla7
  Replies (3) Good night (809) Bad night (1923)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best

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  (763): She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best http://tfl.nu/e685
  Replies (3) Good night (1114) Bad night (477)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.

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  (517): And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you. http://tfl.nu/j63g
  Replies (12) Good night (1083) Bad night (671)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how

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  (610): How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how http://tfl.nu/j1wy
  Replies (4) Good night (1018) Bad night (468)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  Best superhero ever to exist

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  (630): I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman (1-630): Best superhero ever to exist http://tfl.nu/bh1h
  Replies (6) Good night (1202) Bad night (401)
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  (477): View more from

  I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me

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  (477): I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me http://tfl.nu/o2l0
  Replies (12) Good night (709) Bad night (406)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me

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  (215): Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me http://tfl.nu/0gsm
  Replies (2) Good night (308) Bad night (536)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!

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  (812): I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night! http://tfl.nu/uqsd
  Replies (0) Good night (225) Bad night (444)

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