I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
