At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
did you just send me my own nude
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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