Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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