Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
