what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
