She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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