After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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