Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize