Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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