margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
