Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
you traded sex for a burrito?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
