if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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