If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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