it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize