I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
