He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
