I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
