is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
