the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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