Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
