we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
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I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
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I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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