its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
