did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
