Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
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Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
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We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
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