you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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