I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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