Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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