On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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