woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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