I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize